Dealing with gender bias calmly, effectively and professionally.
As a woman leader, imagine this: during a leadership meeting, you put forward a data-driven solution to a complex issue. It’s met with lukewarm responses and quickly sidelined. Later in the meeting, a male colleague rephrases the same suggestion, and suddenly it’s considered innovative and worth exploring.
It’s frustrating, but how do you respond?
Whether you’re experiencing this first-hand or witnessing it within your teams, gender bias needs to be handled with composure, confidence, and strategic thinking. We covered the topic of difficult conversations like these in a recent WeQual event – Emma Hicks, VP of Membership & Programs at WeQual, and Manjaree Chowdhary, Senior Executive Officer Legal and Realty and General Counsel at Maruti Suzuki India, made some interesting points.
Unsurprisingly, gender bias often provokes a strong reaction. In the moment, depending on what’s been said or done, you might feel irritated, frustrated, even outright angry. However, staying calm can make a huge difference to how your response lands.
“Do not become your emotion.” says Emma. “Do not take your work so personally. You are here as a professional, and let’s keep it to that… it’s tough because you are so passionately involved in what you’re doing.”
There’s wisdom in this. Emotional responses, no matter how justified, can distract from the point you’re making. In high-pressure situations, it’s essential to keep the focus on the issue, rather than how it makes you feel.
“In leadership training, the first thing we were taught was, ‘Do not become your emotion,’” Manjaree adds. In these situations, your ability to stay grounded and in control can set the tone for the entire conversation. So, take a breath, think about what you want the outcome to be, and work towards that as a goal.
There will be moments when compromising might seem like the easy way out, but integrity should never be sacrificed.
Gender bias can sometimes manifest in subtle, yet personal remarks – often referred to as microaggressions. For example, describing a woman leader as ‘aggressive’ when a male leader with the same traits would be described as ‘strong’; assuming a woman won’t have capacity to take the lead on a big project due to commitments at home, or commenting that ‘it’s refreshing to see a woman that doesn’t get so emotional’.
Experiencing these miniscule affronts can feel incredibly isolating, but responding with confidence and clarity is essential. Here’s an example – Manjaree recalls a time when a senior colleague attempted to undermine her by implying she was being emotional. “A senior colleague implied I was being emotional because I hadn’t eaten breakfast. I kept my response neutral and factual, telling him I was a big breakfast eater and shifting the conversation to the real issue—gender. I told him calmly, ‘You made that comment because I’m the only woman here.’”
Your response needn’t be harsh. It can be just as subtle as the comment you’re calling out, but the message is clear: gender bias won’t be tolerated by you.
When biases rear their ugly head during important discussions, it can be tempting to address them head on, but sometimes it’s enough to switch the focus back to the agenda. This simple but effective pivot can turn a contentious moment into a productive one.
“It’s not about you personally, but about what you’re trying to achieve,” says Emma. A reminder that we’re all on the same team does wonders for stopping bias in its tracks, whether it’s intentional or not.
Sometimes, it’s more than just a throwaway comment or an ill-thought-out remark. If a colleague regularly undermines your authority, keeps important information from you, or ‘forgets’ to loop you in on changes during a project, sabotage might be at play. Handling these situations requires both professionalism and careful documentation.
“What I try to do is remain absolutely above board…extremely formal. Don’t give them an opportunity to undercut my work,” says Emma. “Transparency is your best defence when dealing with underhanded tactics.”
Manjaree adds: “In situations where I felt undermined, I documented every interaction. It not only protected me, but it also sent a clear message that I wouldn’t be easily dismissed.” Staying above board and documenting everything ensures that any attempts to sabotage your work are ineffective and transparent.
Building strong relationships with colleagues across genders can help break down bias. By creating genuine connections, you begin to shift perceptions, making it harder for unconscious bias to flourish. Forming these alliances can be the key to creating a more inclusive environment, where support comes from all corners of the organization.
Relationships also serve as bridges during challenging conversations. Manjaree adds: “Forming relationships with male colleagues not only builds support but also helps bridge cultural and professional gaps. When people respect you personally, they are less likely to carry bias into professional interactions.” When mutual respect is established, biases tend to fade into the background, making it easier to collaborate, not to mention ensuring a nicer experience all round.
There will be moments when compromising might seem like the easy way out, but integrity should never be sacrificed. “You never compromise yourself…from an ethical point of view, from a values point of view…if you name it, then it’s out there,” says Emma. By standing firm in your principles, you’ll gain long-term respect and credibility, even in the most challenging environments.
Manjaree has experienced this firsthand: “In moments when my values were challenged, I’ve always been transparent. I’ve said, ‘We all want the company to succeed, but we can’t do that at the cost of my integrity.’” Setting boundaries and sticking to them shows strength and leadership, even when the pressure is on.
The upshot? Gender bias still happens in the workplace, but by dealing with it the right way, it loses its power. Remember, it’s how you respond to bias that shapes your leadership journey. In Emma’s words, “The key is professionalism, resilience, and unwavering integrity.”
Read about communicating without language bias > Language Bias: How to Communicate Inclusively Within Your Organization.
Thanks to our Guest Contributors:
Manjaree is also a WeQual Alumni and Winner of the WeQual Awards, APAC 2021 in the Business Security category.
Emma is also Fellow and Advisory Board Member of the Learning Performance Institute (LPI) and holds certifications from the Institute of Directors (IoD) and Association for Talent Development (ATD).
